" Beautiful Stretch Bands "

I always wondered why am I, who I am – A woman. Most often I see women stretch themselves to the maximum extent possible, for any and every thing, when pressure pumps them from every side, hoping it would give them happiness while the struggle is over.

 No wonder why women were created and ordained by God to bring forth man. Whether in pregnancy or in any aspect of her life, after she stretches herself to bring forth happiness, all that’s left are scars of those stretch marks. Scars which profess happiness are mostly scars of sacrifice and untold pain. 

Women who take care of their family and still go to work stretch themselves to earn a little bit more to support their family better. Then there are those women who love to work, but stretch themselves to resign against their wish, just so that they build their family together. 

Women who knew only to make noodles, poha and bake cakes for breakfast stretch themselves to learn to cook three full meals as per their husband’s taste for breakfast, lunch and supper. You take care of your toddlers at home, send your elder kids to school, clean the house, clean the kids, feed them, play with them and put each to sleep telling stories of their wish. Finally when you lie down to sleep, your hubby asks you to help him with some statistical analysis or proofread his going to be published book or search his bank documents etc… which is very important and yes, o woman, you stretch yourself to help him with what he wants. 

For instance, my mother who is quite occupied the whole day doing household chores, feeding her grand kids and meeting their demands, still stretches herself to keep awake at night when both my kids cry at the same time, so that I sleep with fewer disturbances.

 In all these if the scars of stretch marks remind us of the happiness it brought forth. The stretch marks are worth it. But what if those stretch marks cause pain every time you see them?

Yes women can be compared to some sort of stretchable band. Once they are far stretched and their elasticity gone, their importance comes down.

But stretching does not necessarily end in happiness always. It sometimes only pushes us to stretch even more, causing us to miserably break down,  instead of bouncing back like the way stretch bands usually function.

For instance, your loved ones hurt you real bad, and you stretch yourself out to an extent of being too quick with your mouth. You speak words which, you’ve never spoken before. You stretch yourself to the extent of breaking away from those relationships that hurt you. Women do it to just get heard; not realizing that they’ve ruined it, before it even began. Because at the end of you trying to be heard, your loved one mostly responds by telling, “Now this is too much” or stare at you in strange silence. Both of these responses break you.

 That’s when you realize that you have stretched for the wrong reasons and you’ve ended with scars that hurt a life time.

When women stretch to bring forth love and happiness around families, why are they never greeted with the reply such as “You have stretched too much dear”?  Somehow at the end of giving yourself away, you have nothing left to give. Just stretch marks and the memories etched around them.

Sometimes I wish, our loved ones who are tired of listening to us, also take some effort to stretch  just enough , to atleast remind us that, they understand our emotions too, instead of shutting us out.

Sometimes I wish, we women realize that we need not stretch for reasons that are going to make us less likely to bounce back. So how should we respond when we know, nothing good is going to come out of our trying to stretch?

Be still and know that He is God. And He controls our lives way better than we try controlling. Pray and do what you do best. It could be writing, painting, reading, music, art, poetry, shopping…. anything that just prevents you from stretching. Just do not stretch.

I don’t write so you read. I write because am passionate about it and I just do not want to stretch. And I don’t mind people’s criticism, because whether I like it or not, it has always been my stepping stone to build me up fiercer and stronger enough to bounce back as stretch bands do.

We need to save our privilege of being a stretch band where love grows and where happiness abounds.  I am a woman. I am a stretchable band because God has ordained me to be one and it gives me happiness to be one. I just wish God gives me the wisdom to realize the right space to stretch and leave a legacy.